


Instinct

by chali



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bad Things Happen Bingo, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gen, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Protective Pidge | Katie Holt, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-02 12:52:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16305596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chali/pseuds/chali
Summary: Keith seems to think he's more expendable than the rest of them, judging by how he thinks it's fine to jump in front of bullets for them. Pidge disagrees.





	Instinct

"Fuck, fuck, _fuck_ , Keith. Why do you have to be such an _idiot_ -" Pidge cut herself off with a groan as she heaved said idiot further along the seemingly never-ending purple corridor. She had her hands hooked under Keith's armpits, and sincerely hoped that the warm wetness she felt soaking through her gloved hands was sweat and not blood. 

She tried not to look at them. Or at the trail of blood they were leaving behind them. Or at him.

If she looked at him, she would panic. And if she panicked, she wouldn't be able to get him out. And if she didn't get him out... she would never be able to forgive herself. 

Or him, for that matter. 

"Ugh, _Keith_ ," she moaned again. "Why couldn't you just - do your thing, and let me do mine, and _not_ get shot? Oh wait, that's right! Getting hurt unnecessarily  _is_ your thing! How could I forget?" She nearly dropped him when he let out a weak chuckle in response.

"Y-you know, I didn't exactly - a-ask the guy to sh-shoot me..." his breath hitched as she tugged him further, and she squeezed his arms apologetically, nearly weeping with relief that he was at least alive enough to be talking to her.

"Yeah, well, as far as I'm concerned, jumping in front of a bullet kinda does count as asking for it-"

"It only grazed my - s-side, Pidge. It would've been in your head if I hadn't moved..."

"You could've pushed me out the way, then! Or - or - I don't know, just  _not_ gotten shot somehow. What if it hadn't hit your side? What if it had killed you?"

"Then it s-still wouldn't have killed you..." Keith's voice trailed off with a low groan, and he slumped in Pidge's grip.

She dropped him as gently as she could in her growing panic and looked into his face. Under the visor his skin was pale, and clammy, and she really, really hoped that that wasn't blood she saw at the corner of his mouth. The glass fogged briefly every few seconds, as he tugged in too-shallow breaths.

Still alive. For now. 

 _Then it still wouldn't have killed you._  

"Fuck, Keith."

She lifted him up again and resumed her slow progress down the corridor, chest tightening with relief as she finally spotted the hangar where they had left Green at the beginning of the mission, what felt like days ago. She secured her grip on Keith, and moved faster.

The Galra on this ship had created some kind of interference that managed to block their suits' communication with the castle. She needed Green now.

"Hey!"

Tears of frustration rushed to her eyes as she turned to find two Galra soldiers standing between her and Green, guns trained on her and Keith. Again. 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck..." she dropped one of Keith's arms and reached for her bayard - there were two blasts and the Galra dropped. Pidge blinked, and looked down at Keith.

His arm was shaking so much the Galran gun slipped from his hand, and he slumped further with a groan and a wheeze. Pidge quickly snatched up his arm again, and pulled him over to Green, muttering as she did.

"Damn, Keith, even when your bleeding out you're badass. That's just unfair, man. Now I see what Lance is always complaining about."

"Heh, I _r-really_ doubt... that Lance c-called me - badass."

She felt relief and comfort and safety wash over her as she pulled Keith into Green's cockpit. She leaned him against the wall and pulled his helmet off, tossing her own onto the floor next to it. His face was paler than she'd ever seen it, and there was a trail of blood from his lip, dripping slowly off his chin onto his already blood-soaked lap.

"Keith," she tapped his face, "Keith, hey, can you open your eyes for me?" His eyelids opened slowly, revealed bleary purple irises that struggled to focus. "Hey, Keith. We're in Green now, okay? We're on our way back to the Castle, so just - just hold on, okay? We'll get you into a pod soon-"

"Sh'ro?" Pidge sniffed, and was selfishly grateful Keith was so out of it that he couldn't see the tears finally spilling onto her cheeks.

"Yeah, Keith. Shiro will be there. He'll fix you up. I gotta go pilot Green, so just stay here and stay _alive_ , got it?" He didn't respond.

She hurried to the pilot seat, and Green burst into life around her. Immediately, Coran's voice filled the cockpit. 

" _Pidge_! _Number Five, are you there?_ _Keith_?"

"Coran, I'm here _._ "

" _Ah, Number Five! What happened-_ "

" _Holy quiznack, Pidge, are you okay?"_

_"Dude, you scared us so much!"_

" _Are you okay, Pidge? Is Keith okay?"_

"Guys!" She cut them all off in as loud and steady a voice as she could manage. She directed Green out of the Galran ship and flew as fast as she could in the direction of the Castle. "I'm fine, but Keith isn't. We need a pod ready the as soon as we get back."

Shiro's voice cut across the burst of concerned chatter. "What happened to Keith? Is he okay? Why isn't he talking?"

"He's - he was shot. In the side. He's lost a lot of blood. He's alive, but he needs a pod, _now_."

She heard Shiro curse, but it was Allura's voice that rang over the comms next.

"Pidge, don't worry, Coran is getting one set up as we speak. Did you get the information?" Pidge ground her teeth, and reminded herself that the mission was, in fact, still important.

"Yeah, princess, I got the info. Thanks to Keith."

"Good. We'll see you in a few tics." 

* * *

She opened Green's hangar the second she was in the Castle's walls. Before they even touched the ground she was out of her seat and by Keith's side again, lifting his arm around her shoulders and heaving him up, trying her best to ignore the pool of blood he left behind him and the quiet groans he was too delirious to hold back. 

Shiro met them at the bottom of the ramp, the rest of the team running a short way behind him. 

"Keith-" Shiro's face was almost as pale as the Red Paladin's. "Jesus Christ... give him here, Pidge, I'll carry him to the pods. Are you hurt?" Pidge shook her head and forced herself to relinquish her white-knuckled grip on Keith's armor. She immediately lost sight of him and Shiro as Lance and Hunk engulfed her. 

"Pidge! Oh my _god_ , we were so worried!" Hunk was sobbing, arms wrapped tightly around her shoulders. She lifted her arms as much and gripped him back as tightly as she could, burying her face in his chest and breathing in deeply, trying to rid herself of the scent of blood.

Keith's blood. She felt sick. 

She felt Lance join the hug behind her. "You guys stopped responding almost immediately - we knew something must be wrong! What happened? What happened to Keith?" 

"Pidge?"

Pidge shuddered. Then she burst into tears. She felt their grip on her tighten as she began a garbled explanation for what had happened. 

"I-I was d-downloading the files. A-and Keith was fighting off th-the Galra stationed there - but - but more came at the door and I - I was distracted. And they shot at me - b-but Keith saw and he - he jumped in f-front of me and-"

"Oh Pidge..."

"I r-really thought he was gonna die, guys..." Hunk pulled back, and pushed on her shoulders until she was looking into his teary face.

"It wasn't your fault, Pidge. And you got Keith back in time, he's safe now. Shiro and Coran will have him in a pod by now. You did good."

"Pidge," she jumped. She hadn't even noticed Allura standing behind Hunk. "I'll take you to my room, and you can use my bath. You're a bit, um, dirty..." Pidge looked down at herself, and swallowed bile.

She was covered in blood. _Keith's blood_. She looked at Hunk and Lance, it was on their clothes too. She looked behind her. There was a trail of it from her lion. 

"Fuck. Uh, yeah. Yeah, Allura that would be good. Thanks."

Allura reached out and took one of her trembling hands, and Pidge walked behind her dazedly. Hunk and Lance didn't follow. 

Allura led her to her room, and sat her on the bed - beating back Pidge's protests about getting blood on the sheets, saying she was being silly - while she went into her bathroom. The sound of running water filled her senses, and she let it wash over her.

She closed her eyes, and tried to imagine she was back on Earth, looking out her window at the pouring rain, waiting on her father and Matt coming home from the Garrison -

Allura's hand on her shoulder brought her back to the horrible present.

"Come, now. Let's get you out of your armour."

Too out of it to be embarrassed, Pidge allowed Allura to peel away the bloody armour, helping her climb into the steaming bath in front of her.

"Do you want me to stay?" Allura spoke softly, soothingly. Pidge nodded, and Allura smiled.

Together, they sluiced the blood and sweat and grime from her body. And when Allura started massaging her hands though her hair Pidge nearly fell asleep.

By the time she emerged, and Allura helped her into a pair of her own silk pajamas (rolled up multiple times at the cuffs), she was utterly exhausted. Every cell in her body was telling her to go to her room, climb into bed, and sleep until she was fully recharged.

She went directly to the medbay.

Corran looked her over when she came in and, not finding anything wrong, nodded and smiled softly. Allura squeezed her shoulder then went to him, and they began conversing quietly. Pidge looked around the rest of the room until she found Shiro. 

He was exactly where she knew he'd be, stationed in front of the only occupied pod. She swallowed thickly before approaching him, hands sweaty where they were clenched by her sides. She stopped a few steps behind him.

"Um, Shiro?" He flinched and turned around sharply.

"Pidge," he sighed, and his sharp eyes grew apologetic. "Are you okay? I'm sorry, I know I kind of ignored you earlier. I was just..." His eyes strayed back to the pod, Keith's body floating inside of it, so he didn't see Pidge shake her head.

"No, Shiro, I get it. I wasn't hurt at all anyway. Keith made sure of that." She looked at the Red Paladin as well, taking in his pale flesh, still covered in blood and sweat and burns and dirt and dust. But alive. Definitely alive.

"Shiro, I - I'm sorry," she saw him turn to look at her out the corner of her eye, but kept her gaze focused on the boy in front of her instead. "I'm _so_ sorry. Keith was - he almost died for me. He almost died _because_ of me. If I hadn't been so _distracted_ then I-"

"Lance and Hunk told me what happened, when they were here. This isn't your fault, Pidge. Hey," he placed a hand on her shoulder and turned her to face him, "this _isn't_ your fault. None of us were there, none of us know everything about how it went down. But what we _do_ know, with absolute certainty, is that if there had been a way for you to prevent this you would have. This isn't _your_ fault, and it isn't even _Keith's_ fault, really. The only person to blame here is the one who fired the gun. No one blames you, Katie. I promise."

"What if I blame myself?" He smiled at her sadly.

"I understand. I do. Maybe you won't be able to believe yet that you're not to blame, but you need to find a way to forgive yourself for what happened.

"Keith is going to be okay, Pidge. Coran said he lost a lot of blood, and he'll be in there for a couple of days, but he'll be just fine when he comes out. Okay? You're both alive, you're both okay."

_Then it still wouldn't have killed you._

Pidge swallowed, and looked at Keith, and opened her mouth to tell Shiro about what Keith had said. What he had meant.

Then she closed her mouth, and only nodded. She wrapped her arms around Shiro in a quick hug, not giving him time to reciprocate it, then moved to sit cross-legged in front of Keith's pod.

As tired as she was, she didn't think she would be able to sleep yet if she tried.

* * *

Shiro tried to make her leave, make her rest. She knew she should, in some distant, logical part of her brain, but she just couldn't. She could barely bring herself to leave the medbay to go to the bathroom.

Besides, Shiro barely left either. 

Coran brought her and Shiro chairs, and Allura blankets from her room. Hunk and Lance eventually made a reappearance, bringing a plate of food goo that she somehow managed to force down in spite of her roiling stomach. They explained that they had cleaned the inside of Green for her, so that she wouldn't have to worry about facing that gruesome task anymore. She didn't know how to find words enough to thank them.

Eventually, after almost a full day spent sitting in front of Keith's pod, she must have dozed off, because when she opened her eyes again she was in her room. She quickly moved to sit up, only to fall back down as something held her in place. She turned to find Lance peering up at her blearily with sleepy eyes, his arm wrapped around her waist. 

"Pidge, for the _love_ of _god_ , go back to sleep. It's barely been two hours." 

"Lance, I can't just-" 

"What good will wearing yourself out do Keith? You've already saved his life, dude, you don't need to do anything else except _rest_. He'll be grateful enough as it is, I don't think he'll mind if he gets out and your sleeping." Pidge bit her lip, and shook her head. Lance narrowed his eyes at her and sat up slowly. 

"What is it?" Pidge blinked at him. 

"Wh-what?" 

"You only make that face whenever some super complicated computery thing is really bothering you. Or - or when you're worrying about your family. So what is it?" She looked into Lance's concerned face, his open blue eyes and encouraging smile, felt his arm reach around her shoulder instead of her waist and squeeze reassuringly, and found herself spilling to him what she had decided to keep to herself. 

"I don't think Keith cares about himself." Lance blinked, and raised an eyebrow. 

"Uh, what?" Pidge sighed shortly and pushed off the bed, pacing in tight circles around the room. 

"Something he said to me after he was shot has really been bothering me. I told him he was an idiot - and he _is_ - for jumping in the way, because if that shot had been just a bit higher, or to the side, it could have - _would_ have - killed him. And all he said was 'at least it wouldn't have killed you', as if that's _all_ that mattered." Lance's eyes had softened, and his smile had vanished. 

"Pidge," he said quietly, "I think that, in that moment, your life really _was_ all he cared about. I mean, we're a team, and we're all pretty protective of each other. So I don't think-" 

"Yeah, _protective_ \- but not - not like that. Not _suicidal_. He - think about it, Lance. How many times has Keith jumped in front of one of us, or taken on an enemy so that we wouldn't have to, or gotten hurt when he didn't have to just so that _we_ wouldn't? I think this goes far beyond being a protective teammate." 

Lance swallowed thickly, and nodded, seemingly lost for words as he considered what Pidge was saying. They were both silent for a few minutes, contemplating. Finally, Lance shook himself and looked at her. 

"Talk to him, then. When he comes out of the pod, you need to talk to him about it. You need to. I mean, I really think we _all_ do." Pidge nodded, and crawled back into the bed next to him. 

"I know." She just didn't know how. 

* * *

When Keith did finally emerge from the healing pod, cold and shaky and tired and hungry, the first thing he said was Pidge's name. She almost hit him. Instead, she hugged him, uncaring of the grime that still stained his armour. 

"You idiot," she said, voice muffled by his shoulder. "You stupid, stupid, _quiznacking_ idiot." He huffed tiredly, but she felt the arm that wasn't being held by Shiro reach up and hug her back weakly. 

"You okay?" He asked hoarsely. 

" _Yes_ , I'm okay, thanks to you. You, on the other hand, almost died. You almost _died,_ Keith." 

"Hey, I didn't though. I'm fine-"

"Not quite," Shiro cut in, softly tapping Pidge's shoulder. She shifted so that Keith's arm was draped over her shoulder, ignoring his weak protests. "Maybe after a shower and a meal you will be, though." 

Keith looked down at himself and scowled. "That... would be nice, yeah." 

They let Coran perform a quick check up before leading Keith out of the medbay. Together they made their lopsided way towards Keith's room. Pidge was several inches smaller than Keith, so she was probably hindering him more than helping him, but she didn't think she would be ready to leave his side any longer than it took him to have a shower. Not for a while, at least. 

After she and Shiro had deposited Keith in his room, they stationed themselves outside his door to wait for him, leaning on the wall. They stood in silence for some time, before Shiro spoke in a quiet, tired voice. 

"Lance told me about what you two talked about." Pidge rolled her eyes, but couldn't tell if she felt irritation or relief. 

"Of _course_ he did. The idiot never can keep his mouth shut." Shiro chuckled, and bumped her shoulder amiably, before sobering again. 

"Keith has always been... complicated. He's not had the easiest life, and his relationships with people haven't been the best either." Pidge nodded, having expected as much. 

"He's always been reckless, and he can maybe be a bit... uh..." 

"Really fucking stupid?" 

"Yeah," Shiro laughed. "Yeah, I guess you could say that. But ever since we came together to form Voltron, Keith has... changed. For the better. I can see him _trying_ to change, and I know that it's for all of you. And maybe he still doesn't quite get it, get that he _matters_ , but I do think that you and the others, that all of us are helping him get there."

"But," Pidge looked at the door, "he just - I understand why he thinks like that, why he thinks he's expendable or whatever. I mean, it's _bullshit_ , but I understand. And we're all going to try harder from now on to prove to him just how much bullshit that really is. But I just - what if it's not enough?" She looked at Shiro, and was surprised to see him all but grinning at her. She raised an eyebrow at him. 

"Sorry, sorry," he said, shaking his head, "it's just - this right here, what you're doing now, what you're saying - this is proof that no matter how long it takes, it _will_ be enough. Because having someone who sticks by you, who doesn't give up on you, who really _cares_ about you and shows that - that's what makes the difference, especially for someone like Keith. So, thank you, Pidge. For looking after my brother." Pidge blinked away tears, and felt her cheeks burning. She grinned back at him. 

"Well, yeah, obviously..." Shiro ruffled her hair, and they didn't speak again until Keith reemerged, clean and fluffy and only slightly less exhausted-looking. 

"Oh, uh, hey," he blinked at them, slightly wide-eyed. "I didn't know you guys were waiting, sorry." Shiro shook his head and clapped Keith's shoulder. 

"Of course we waited, Keith. Now c'mon, Hunk has been itching to feed you for almost three days. He waits any longer, I think he might combust." They laughed, and started walking to the kitchen, Pidge and Shiro sticking a bit closer to Keith's side than was maybe necessary. Either he didn't notice, or he didn't care.

"Oh, Pidge," Keith turned to her suddenly, eyes wide. "The info - did you get it? Was the mission-" 

"Oh my god, Keith. Oh my _god_. _Yes_. The mission was 'successful'. If you can even call that close a shave with death a success." He frowned at her, but was appeased nonetheless. 

The second they entered the kitchen, Hunk scooped Keith up into a hug that looked painful. Keith wheezed.

"Holy quiznack, man, I was so scared! _You_ were covered in blood, _Pidge_ was covered in blood, _Green_ was covered in blood - like, seriously, dude, how can one person lose that much blood and not be dead?"

"H-Hunk, I might end up dead - if you don't stop s-squeezing me like that-"

"Oh, heh, sorry," Hunk dropped him, and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "You're really good though, man?"

"He's _fine_ ," Lance walked over and threw an arm over Keith's shoulder. "Look at him, a bite to eat and he'll be right back to his usual smart-ass snarkiness." Hunk gasped loudly and ran back to the stove. Keith snorted and rolled his eyes, and missed the way Lance gave him a relieved once-over before guiding him over to the table.

Hunk immediately brought over a bowl with three times the amount of food goo Keith would usually eat, and sat down across from him, watching him intently. Keith looked at the bowl, then looked at Hunk, then shared a glance with Lance, before sighing and picking up his spoon.

Pidge was honestly impressed. Keith got about half-way through it before she and Lance had to grab spoons of their own and, ignoring Hunk's murderous glares, help him out.

Lance barely stopped talking, which Pidge knew meant he was as glad and relieved as she was that Keith was okay. Shiro only sat back in his chair and watched Keith, dozing a little as his sleepless nights started catching up with him.

Finally the bowl was empty, and Lance quickly pulled Hunk away to 'wash the dishes', giving both he and Pidge weighted glares as he did so. Keith raised an eyebrow as Lance carried the single bowl and handful of spoons to the sink, and Hunk barely met Keith's eyes before he quickly followed, the two of them clanking the dishes as loudly as possible. Pidge looked at Shiro imploringly, and found him fast asleep, head tilted back and mouth slightly parted.

Keith laughed next to her, and she turned to see him wearing such a soft expression, smiling so _gently_ at Shiro, that she felt almost as if she were intruding on something personal. She looked at her folded hands on the table instead.

"Keith," she started. He turned to her, but she kept her gaze fixed on her white knuckles.

"Do you... remember what you said to me? When you were... after you'd been shot?"

"U-uh, not really? Was it - I didn't - oh _quiznack,_ what did I say?" She almost laughed at the outright horror in his voice. Almost.

"You - well I mean, it was pretty obvious anyway since you'd literally just taken a _bullet_ for me - but you said that you wouldn't have cared if you had died, because at least _I_ wouldn't have." She looked into his face, and he looked back at her with questioning eyes and a furrowed brow.

"Well, _yeah_ , and?" Pidge felt her jaw drop. _Well, that wasn't what I expected._

"Wait, so you - are you _nuts_? Keith, I appreciate you saving me, I really do, but not at the expense of your own life!" Keith bristled.

"Well, what _else_ was I supposed to do? They were shooting at you, it was my instinct!"

"Your instinct is to jump in front of _bullets_?"

"My instinct is to _protect_ you!"

Pidge felt the air rush out of her. Keith's cheeks were flushed, his fists clenched tightly in front of him, and his eyes were burning as they looked at her. But not with the fierce anger and determination and stubbornness that she usually saw. Now, she only saw fear.

The same fear that she hadn't been able to shake since she heard his agonised cry and felt his body fall beside her.

"They had already fired the gun, I couldn't stop it. And you were in the middle of retrieving the information, I couldn't just knock you aside and fuck the whole thing up," he swallowed thickly and took a deep breath. "Jumping in front of you was a split second decision, and as far as I'm concerned it was the _right_ one. I'd do it again in an instant, for _any_ of you." He looked behind Pidge, and when she turned she saw Hunk and Lance standing wide-eyed behind Shiro, who was wide-awake now.

Hunk looked teary again. "Keith, buddy, we all look out for each other, but there are ways to do that without getting hurt or killed in the process." Lance nodded.

"I get that, I do," Keith ran a hand through his hair and looked at anything but their faces. "But like I said, it was a split second decision, it was my instinct, and I acted on it. If I had hesitated for even a _second_ Pidge wouldn't have a head right now. I couldn't live with myself if something like that happened to one of you and I could have prevented it."

"And you think I could have lived with it if you had died for me?" Pidge said quietly. "You think I could have lived with losing another person I care about, after losing my dad and my brother?"

"You're-" Keith looked at Shiro for a long moment, and his cheeks burned darker when he continued. " _You're_ my family." Lance choked. " _All_ of you are, and Allura. And Coran. I don't - if you don't see me that way, then that's fine. Whatever. But I - I haven't had people like you in my life for a long time. After the Kerberos mission I thought I would never find anyone else who even gave me a second thought. So I'm _not_ going to hesitate when it comes to protecting you. Even if it costs me my own life." Hunk sniffed, and Lance cleared his throat loudly. Keith's face was so red it almost matched his armour.

"Keith," Pidge's voice was hoarse, but she didn't stop. "You're our family, too. Of _course_ we feel that way about you. That's why we couldn't stand to lose you either. That's why we need you to not - not _jump_ in the way, but find another way instead. One that doesn't end with you in either a healing pod or a coffin." He opened his mouth to argue, but she cut over him. "And I know that there wasn't time to think about it in this particular situation. But just - keep it in mind, in the future? We _cannot_ lose you, Keith, any more than you can lose us." He lowered his head until his hair hid his face, and nodded.

"Aw, _jeez_... guys, I can't." Hunk swept around the table and pulled Keith into another bear hug. This time the Keith didn't say anything, only gripped Hunk's arms and hid his face in his shoulder. Lance ran around to join them, pulling Pidge in with him as he went.

She felt Shiro join the hug a few seconds later, and carried his soft and sincere "thank you" with her for a long time afterwards. 

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is my first post for Bad Things Happen Bingo! And it's also my first ever Voltron fic, so I really hope you enjoyed it! If you want to request anything from my Bingo card you can check it out on my Tumblr, my name is cha-lii, and either send me an ask or a message on here! Thanks for reading!


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